All this talk of making New Year Resolutions this last week got me thinking…
We’ve all got something to reclaim.
Five years ago TODAY I was waking up from my first surgery after having my son.
The doctors said I wouldn’t remember anything in post-op, but I did. I remembered being afraid, confused, in pain, and hopeless. At the same time, I was a little relieved to have what I thought to be the worst part of this journey behind me.
Boy, was I wrong…
This was all before anxiety and PTSD set in and tried to set up a permanent camp in my life.
For a long time, nothing felt right- my body, my mind, my emotions. It was all a jumbled mess, and it wasn’t “ because I just had a baby”. I mean, those hormones are wild for sure, but there was way more going on.
Being a mom is hard enough and that’s without navigating the rip current of birth trauma, postpartum PTSD, awful anxiety, and unhappy relationships with my husband, son, and myself. Not to mention a year of sexless marriage- yep. You read that correctly.
But a little desperation and a lot of determination go a long way.
In 2017, I threw all I had in me into this process of reclaiming myself.
Bit by bit, I did it. And I’m still choosing to pursue this every day since.
My physical health. My mental health. My marriage. My motherhood.
I thought if I could do it- if I could reclaim my way back to a fulfilling and joyful life- I wanted to empower others to do so as well.
Because there’s enough hope to go around.
WHAT’S YOUR NEW YEAR’S RECLAMATION?
This year, what are you reclaiming?
Are you a mama that’s struggling to sift out the joy of motherhood between overwhelming stress and anxiety?
Perhaps this is the year to reclaim your motherhood and reclaim your joy!
Feeling out of touch with who you are and just trying to get more clarity?
This could be the year you reclaim your identity and rekindle those dreams!
Are you saying your New Year’s Resolution is to lose twenty pounds?
Forget about a number on a scale! If you’re not feeling good in your skin, this is your year to reclaim your health and self-confidence!
For some, reclaiming might look like learning to develop self-love and, as a result, be able to love others more genuinely.
For others, reclaiming their mental health, by learning practical ways to play the offense against things like anxiety and depression, will help them live a more free and fulfilled life.
It might look like reclaiming lost and broken relationships with a spouse, partner, friend, or themselves.
We’re about to turn a new page of a new decade: 2020. With all the talk of making New Year’s Resolutions, it got me thinking: A “resolution” is about making a firm decision to do or not to do something. Cool. But making a decision isn’t the same thing as taking action and setting direction.
Instead of making a resolution this year, try making declarations of reclamation. Make this year a year of reclamation- of reclaiming yourself, whatever that looks like to you, friend.
Here’s a paraphrased definition of reclamation– it’s a process of taking back or reasserting a right.
To reclaim something is to retrieve and recover it for its original purpose(s) and intent(s).
You, sweet friend, were designed with purpose and for purpose, for good by a good God.
We can align with our purpose with some soul-searching, whether it’s on accident or by driving deep into pursuing what ignites the fire in our hearts.
You were made to pursue things that make you come alive and feed your soul.
And friend, we weren’t promised an easy life, but we were made for good things by a good God.
We have a right to experiencing joy and fulfillment and peace.
So whether it’s….
Reclaiming your joy (hello, belly laughs, and gratitude!)
Reclaiming your passion (hello, dream that’s been on the back burner!)
Reclaiming a relationship with others (or with yourself!)
Reclaiming your body image (hello, self-confidence!)
It. Is. Possible.
3 WAYS TO START RECLAIMING
1. Determine what is it that you want to reclaim.
Is anxiety running your life and you want to reclaim your mental health because you can’t keep living this way?
Have you experienced trauma and felt completely unraveled by the pain and want to reclaim your identity and freedom?
Are you struggling with something and riddled with fear that you just can’t shake and want to stop living in fear?
Are you ready to stop living in the past and want to reclaim vision, dreams, goals, or reawakening some of those ole’ desires of your heart?
Are you so overwhelmed by the demands of mom-life and meeting everyone else standards that you can’t actually be present with your kid(s) and you want to reclaim back your motherhood?
What do you want to reclaim?
2. Make the decision to take responsibility in and over your process.
Months of professional counseling, supportive community, and medication didn’t get me to the place I am now. I had to be willing to decide to get somewhere for myself.
After all, I decided to go to counseling.
I decided to share parts of my story with the community and get support.
I made the choice to try medication for the overwhelming anxiety attacks.
These were all healthy choices, I was still looking to outward solutions to heal inward problems.
I wasn’t looking for answers in all the wrong places, but I wasn’t exactly looking in the right place- and that was at and in myself.
While seeking help and support from people or resources can be super helpful, we often give more responsibility to others for our own healing process and not take enough ownership over it.
I not only had to decide to start reclaiming my life but realized that this decision completely required me to take full responsibility for my healing and own process. Once I did just this, things started to shift.
It’s time to be the #1 fan of your success in reclaiming who you are. Take responsibility for your life and the healing process and take ownership of who you are becoming.
3. Take a look at your habits.
Our lives are an accumulation of big and little habits and choices we make over time. Our habits can make or break us. They can encourage life or stunt it. Read here about the importance of life-giving habits.
Which habits align and support your decision to reclaim this area of your life?
Are there habits you may need to work on more, or less, in hopes of setting yourself up for more success in this pursuit?
Don’t forget about the people you make a habit of spending time with- are they investing in you and encouraging you?
Do they support you on this reclamation journey?
(Side note: You’d think that deciding to become more hopeful would be an easy one, but when your brain and body have developed a form of homeostasis of hopelessness and fear, it’s tough. If you experience something long enough, you form certain habits, emotional responses, and behavior patterns. It becomes normal. it becomes a habit.
This can make a change, even in a positive direction, very difficult. (Eek. I can’t wait to dive into this topic more in the future. But honestly, don’t all of the good things in life require effort and for us to do the work? Isn’t it usually difficult, at least at first?)
Ultimately, Nobody can do this for you. There’s one person you go to sleep with and wake up to every single morning. There’s one person that will always be right here, right now. If you’re a Mama, while motherhood might make you feel otherwise, ultimately you are the only person that is always going to be with yourself- fully present, fully in reach.
You don’t just need the support and encouragement of others, you need you.
I believe in you, friend. Let’s root for each other.
Here’s to a year of RECLAMATION.
So much love,
Maddie Adeline
What’s your New Year’s Reclamation? 😛
