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WHAT ANXIETY STOLE FROM ME AND WHAT I’M DOING ABOUT IT

WHAT ANXIETY STOLE FROM ME AND WHAT I’M DOING ABOUT IT

by Maddie | Oct 15, 2019 | MOTHERHOOD + FAMILY, WELLNESS

Anxiety is a thief. It will steal parts of life away from you. It will consume your time with fear and chaos. Before you know it, many good things get ransacked with fear, doubt, and shame. It’s not the kind of life anyone wants to live. BUT, there is hope....
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I’m Maddie Adeline-> Mother, women’s root-cause practitioner, holistic wellness enthusiast, and anxiety ass-kicker.

 

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Okay…but does anybody else do this? 🙋🏽‍♀️ What’s the “thing” you do at the start of almost every video, without even realizing it? Unless you’re like me and decided to rewatch your stories. Then you realized it and gave yourself the ick, too. 😂 There has been a lot of heavy in my world lately, and I just need to take a moment to laugh at myself and make light of something.
*Regarding my family’s story surviving a flood i *Regarding my family’s story surviving a flood in Asheville. Trigger warning if this is too close to home* The last two weeks have felt unreal. As I process the shock of almost losing my family members, and witnessing them lose everything they owned and figure out how to start rebuilding their lives, I often find myself at a loss for words. It feels just as unreal watching this video again as the first time someone sent a version of it to me that circulated the internet. You may not see this one here circulating. That’s because this was sent directly from my sister. Not a stranger on the web. I’ll never forget seeing the first video described as a “house” floating. I held my breath hoping it still wasn’t true- this couldn’t have been happening. Because if it was true, that means my immediate family and their neighbors lost everything. It couldn’t be real. But this is reality. This is the reality of my sister, my brother-in-law, my nephew, and my mother. This is the reality of many others in impacted areas. The reality is that many are navigating the unimaginable. The reality is many will be processing and healing through devastating effects and trauma long after specific “events” are over, homes are rebuilt, families are reunited, people are found. According to the latest update, their building remains unaccounted for. I read the text and cried thinking about mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, children, grandparents, friends… all hearing the same update concerning their loved ones and family members Had I seen the first video circulating before having heard my family was safe, I don’t know what I would have done. It’s sobering to think how the updates I’ve personally shared could have looked very different. I find myself existing in the tension of immense gratitude & grief. I wasn’t event the one swimming for my life, and I’ll be forever changed by this.I’ll never forget the pit in my stomach, desperate prayers, & ggpanic as white-knuckled my way through hours of waiting for an update from my family after losing service with my sister as waters rose around their apartment… CONTINUED IN COMMENTS…
After the last post, I want to share this for anyo After the last post, I want to share this for anyone that it may apply to or that it may find helpful who feels particularly conflicted about sharing content that looks different from what they normally share. Knowing what to say in this case can feel overwhelming, uncertain, and uncomfortable. There’s a lot of heavy things happening and circulating right now. There are also a lot of beautiful things. There are many who have a desire to share about current events (or other topics in general), but are paralyzed, worrying it doesn’t reflect their brand, feed, business content, etc. I can respect that. I can respect that we all get to decide what we share, and that some people maintain a certain form of sharing for the sake of marketing, branding, business, appeal, preference, etc. I can also share what helps me navigate this as a small business owner and human being whose heart is tender for others navigating very hard things right now (my family included) ➡️ COMMUNICATION. Sharing an example of what this could look like because sometimes just seeing it broken down is helpful. I don’t even care if you want to take my exact words in the slide. If you feel like it will help, you have my permission.
Having had conversations with others in this space Having had conversations with others in this space recently, I’ve noticed a theme regarding current events: Conflicting feelings about sharing content outside of “typical” content they share- and doing so during a time when it seems to be “everywhere right now” or “too heavy”. As someone who is a small business owner, practitioner, who uses Instagram to share personally & professionally, AND as a sister/daughter/aunt whose family lost everything in floods last week, I have something to say. If you care to read it, continue (and remember, we each get to have our own opinion. This is mine; it doesn’t have to be yours). 1) Sharing resources that may help someone in need/ raising awareness about important events is not a matter of content. It is a matter of CARE, CONCERN, & CONSIDERATION. When you go to share something, I’d encourage you to check with your heart/intuition, not just an algorithm. 2) Being kind, being your authentic self, & being a caring human being are ALWAYS on brand. Trauma is not a trend. These things never go out of style. 3) You get to decide how to use your platform & how you show up here. In many ways, many of us use this platform as an extension of ourselves and our hearts. I know mine is. Personally, I can’t not share resources/info that could potentially help even ONE person that might see it. TBH, it feels compromising to my character & values to not share. As a part of a collective consciousness, there is no influence or impact too small. Also, there’s always risk with sharing on social media. Not everyone knows your heart or intentions. No matter how much you may try to communicate either, you’ll never be *everyone’s* cup of tea. There’s always potential to be misunderstood. It comes with the territory. And trust me, I understand impacts of NOT just posting about products/services. I have bills to pay, too. I also have people I want to help. Some followers may have expectations, but I’d also hope they expect me to be a decent human being. And *to me* that means me sharing authentically and thoughtfully, even if it feels uncomfortable, heavy, etc… CONTINUED IN COMMENTS ⬇️⬇️
“I never planned for a bigger age gap…” “I “I never planned for a bigger age gap…” “It’s like starting all over again…” “What if they don’t mesh well?” “What if they don’t share things in common because the age difference?” “What if my oldest child has a hard time adjusting?” “What if it’s too late?” “How are we going to adjust after getting into our groove as a family of (#)?” These were just a few of the questions & thoughts that ran through my head before welcoming our second son to the world. Well, really they started flooding my mind after my oldest turned 4 and my heart and spirit finally felt a “nudge” to try conceiving. And this doesn’t account for all the comments from strangers about the “big age gap” or other details that were, frankly, none of their business. We never planned for there to be 8 years between our kids. We also never planned to navigate aftermath of birth & postpartum trauma, followed by a very unexpected ‘secondary infertility’ journey. But we did. And here we are, and despite the sleep regression this last week, we couldn’t be more thankful for the relationship our sons have. Sometimes the age difference is more apparent, and Big Brother understands we have to cater more towards younger-activities. And other times, Little Brother just tags along and watches from the sidelines. Just like every age, every “gap” or age difference has its ebbs and flows. If you’re a Mama Friend feeling remotely similar to how I felt- whether you’re consciously trying to conceive or simply in the waiting season- I see you. Honestly, one of the best parts of this has been observing their dynamics and seeing their relationship grow. Seeing our oldest son meet his brother, help bring me snacks postpartum, offer to stock diapers and wipes (but not change them 🤣)…it has been so tender to see. Despite my concerns, the age gap didn’t make it harder; it made it even sweeter than I could have ever imagined. Really, this entire caption could be deduced to the point I’m trying to make: IT’S GOING TO BE OKAY 💛
Not me finally sharing this post I made forever ag Not me finally sharing this post I made forever ago now that my son is turning 2 in a matter of months. Mom-life, am I right? 😝 For my Mama friends preparing to bring new life into the world soon, I wanted to share some favorite labor-snacks that provided me with easy energy (which labor requires a lot of energy). 🍯Honey Sticks (quick & easy energy) 🍎Organic applesauce pouches/cups (super convenient carbs) 🍇Cold grapes/fruit (I liked freezing grapes ahead of time and grabbing a few here and there). 🦴Broth- easy protein and something to sip that felt soothing 🍞Nut Butter/peanut butter on toast (during my first labor-a lovely 40+ hours- I nibbled on a piece of toast with peanut butter & banana slices. 8 years later, I wanted to have the same snack ready). 💧Hydrating elixir(s) to sip on (for example: I added mineral drops to water & made versions of “labor aid”. Several recipes can be found online; I share one in a previous post. As it turns out, I think I mention some of these on that same post and realized it after posting this one 🤣. I like have a variety of textures available because I’m not sure what I’ll be in the mood for. My first birth,when contractions began, I did all sorts of chores around the house, prepped baby things, started timing contractions WAY too early, etc. With this last labor, I focused on REST & NOURISHMENT. Sure, I fiddled about the house to pass time, but nothing like the first time! Until contractions were too noticeable, I slept. My sister helped me gather snacks. I mostly nibbled on soups, fruits, & plenty of hydrating beverages throughout the first day of early labor. When things progressed, I liked my space & only really sipped hydrating beverages. 💛.
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