I can’t not talk about it any longer- about importance of taking part in our own well being- of taking responsibility in our own healing process and reclaiming our life and the kind of person we want to be.
Not when the livelihood of so many beautiful people are at stake. Not when there are mamas struggling to keep their heads above water and show up for their kids but don’t know how because they’re not showing up for themselves.
I can’t stand to let another soul slip out of this world without extending at least a virtual hand and telling them to hold on a little bit longer.
Because we are all worth it.
WHY “RECLAIMING NOW”
By paraphrased definition, “reclamation” is a process of claiming something back or the reasserting of a right.
I believe we were made for good things by a good God. We were created with purpose and with love in mind. We have a right to a joyful and more fulfilled life, even while we live in a tough, fallen world. If taken care of and tended to, our bodies and minds will serve us well. We’ve gotten lost along the way, losing intuition with ourselves, our bodies, and our feelings. The good things have been clouded by busyness, trauma, rejection, confusion, fear, etc. When we meet disappointment after disappointment, we lose confidence and the sight of joy and of hope. We lose touch with our original identity that was made for goodness. Much of my confidence and hope was nearly stolen from debilitating anxiety. You’ll hear me reference that a lot, not because I’m giving the past power, but because I’m reclaiming my power.
I meet many individuals who feel they’ve lost much of their lives and find themselves far from the original intent for which they were designed- to live with a sense of well being and fulfillment. Note: I didn’t say perfection. In this life, we won’t find perfection. We won’t get answers to every question and we will struggle sometimes. But it’s possible to still have hope and reclaim the purposes and the joy we were created for.
There is peace to be found and we can find a lot of it when we share pieces of our story. That’s what I want to do here. By sharing my story and what I’ve learned throughout this process, I hope to encourage YOU in the process of reclaiming your life and the parts that have been tainted or nearly stolen from you- from anxiety, overwhelm, hopelessness, disappointment.
I invite you to reclaim your life. Reclaim your mental, physical, emotional, even spiritual health. Reclaim who you are and who you were made to be. The “Reclaiming” part of the blog is purposely used in the present tense. This process, this journey, isn’t a one-stop-shop or overnight fix, and neither is our healing. Neither is our development. It takes time. This reclamation is a daily pursuit.
That’s not because I don’t believe in a God that is all-powerful. My walk with anxiety and PTSD have not concluded with instantaneous healing. While I’ve heard testimonies (many of which I used to envy) about radical healings from poor mental health or pain, that’s not my story when it comes to my experience with anxiety. For some reason, regardless of the tears, I’ve cried and prayers I’ve prayed and services I’ve attended, this is my story this season. God has invited me to take ownership of this process and He walks with me through it.
THERE’S NO BETTER TIME THAN NOW
The “Now” part of the blog name is also intentional. You can start this process NOW. You can start reclaiming your life right now- there’s no need to wait. You don’t have to wait until the New Year or the next week. You don’t have to wait until things “calm down” or slow down in life- because they seldom will on their own. You have to make the decision to do something about it. You have more control than you think. You just have to be willing.
While navigating the aftermath of birth trauma, PTSD, and anxiety, I kept thinking about how life would be better when- when this happened or when that happened. When I was totally healed. When I was whole again. When I was better. When my husband has the summer off and I can have time for myself to change habits. When things got bad enough to ask for help. When never got me anywhere. What did get me anywhere was deciding the time is now.
I don’t want to lose out on life anymore.
I don’t want to miss more joy in motherhood or with my family.
I don’t want anxiety to rule my days.
I’m reclaiming me. Right now. Every day. And I won’t stop.
HERE WE GO
I don’t have all the answers. Take things with a grain of salt. I’m also not a wizard. While I continue to learn daily, my experience and failure have been some of my best teachers. We are all professionals in our own experiences.
I’m not selling a quick fix or a magic pill. I’m just trying to splash a little more hope into your world. I’m trying to look you, sweet friend, in the eye and tell you that you will beat this- the mundane-ness, the confusion, the anxiety, the “WHYS” and “WHY MES”.
One step at a time.
I lift my cup of decaf coffee that’s been reheated three times to you ( that’s what motherhood+anxiety looks like….a cup of decaffeinated, reheated coffee).
Because you’re here and that means you’re looking for new ways to show up for you. Or it means you’re just a really nice friend that’s doing me a solid. Either way, thank you. You might not be able to feel it but I’m hugging you with my words right now. Don’t make it weird. You are so loved and so worth loving. I want you to know there’s hope to be found.
Until then,
Maddie